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| Image taken: Tess Kincaid, Dublin, Ohio cemetery |
The autumn leaves were swirling ‘round
the young girl barely uttered sound
that doleful day she said goodbye.
The autumn leaves came tumbling down
as polished oak slipped through the ground
and sun resigned to charcoal sky.
The autumn leaves are turning brown
as I recall our last
goodbye
© Ginny Brannan 2014
Written for Magpie Tales #242, Image provided by Tess Kincaid.
She provides the image, we the story!
You have hearbreak without every driectly refering to to the mother's death. And, imho, it is more powerful by being restrained. The triolet form works well, and yours is so very well crafted my friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary, Poetry should be a bit subliminal, even perhaps a little cryptic. Seems to work better that way. I do try for ways to say things without stating the obvious, though I don't always succeed. (I can still hear our friend Luke from FEPC in my head when I write!)
ReplyDeleteWonderful use of form here, Ginny. I agree with Mary above that the understatement magnifies the underlying content and emotional context. This is excellent.
ReplyDeleteSteve
heart tug...my wife lost her mom several years back, so i know the feelings of seeing a mother leave....
ReplyDeleteGinny, thank you for stopping by and leaving such a warm comment on my blog. This has another feeling of family, and it is delicately woven. Those final goodbyes are never easy, and you actually allow a "gentle into the night" in this. Nicely penned. The form was a bonus and I didn't realize it was a form until I read other comments and read your poem again. THAT is the sign of skillful use of form, something I never quite master, so good on you! Peace, Amy
ReplyDeleteA different take on a sombre subject - I liked it.
ReplyDeleteElegant, graceful writing...
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThese goodbyes are heartbreaking and linger. Lovely writing Ginny. Thank you for your warm words over at my blog. :-)
ReplyDeleteI guess thinking of lost mothers brings out the best poetry. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this Ginny! So many images in your poem.
ReplyDeleteVery apropos Ginny. Easy to feel the sorrow here.
ReplyDeleteAutumn melancholy painted nicely.
ReplyDeleteSad and poignant...
ReplyDeleteYes, it evokes sadness.
ReplyDeleteMissed this the first time, Gin. If a gut punch can be lovely...this is a lovely gut punch.
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