Endurance Testing

 

nothing around me

nothing about me

nothing within me 

nothing to grasp

what to hold onto

when all else escapes me

nothing’s forthcoming

and nothing will last

I wait for an answer

and look to the heavens

but there is no inkling

to what is the key;

some say it’s God-sent

or comes from within us

my vessel is empty

there’s nothing to see.

there’s no light that shines

at the end of this tunnel

your words have no meaning

they’re just cursory.

alone on this path 

without rhyme or reason

that many have travelled

long before me

There must be some limit

some end to this testing

a way to deter it

some way to insure

that for all that we carry

and all that we’re put through

that we’ll be rewarded

for what we endure

 

© ginny brannan 2024

It Probably Wouldn't Work Anyways

 

The seed of a thought has planted itself

in a niche somewhere deep in my brain

it whispers of some kind of normalcy

and murmurs of new possibilities

the idea of which both frightens me,

and lifts from the pain that remains.

Still, I question of the practicality 

of pondering such triviality.

it probably wouldn’t work anyways

and inside of this current reality

any hope that I hold feels in vain.

Yet the idea persists, won’t cease or desist,

it even appears in my dreams–

it’s hard to ignore as it plays tug o’ war

insists on existing despite my resisting

rattling me to my core.

It’s not like we don’t have rapport,

yet this doesn’t adhere to the norm...

it takes on theme that isn’t mainstream;

but at this stage, must we conform?

And it might cause a few heads to turn–

I weigh that, while trying to make sense.

It waffles between established routine

taking us both to a different extreme

both exciting and pretty intense.

Have I ever mentioned that I over-think things

no matter how large or how small?

I hash and rehash them and sometimes I save them

take out, think about, and sometimes replace them

while weighing the risks and pitfalls.

And I’ve thought all this out, six ways to Sunday

and won't argue for or against...

so if it gets awkward, well what can I say?

If one of us chooses to just walk away?

 At least we both came to the dance.

© GB 2023

Testing, Testing 1, 2, 3

 

What’s to lose and what’s to gain

we work our lives away in vain,

the poor can never get ahead

illusions render poor refrain;

the rich get richer by default

off the backs of all the rest.

Perhaps this life just a test:

with no money to invest

no treasure hidden in some vault

day-to-day, we peck away

just trying to keep the bills at bay,

counting hours as they pass

with very little time to play.

Yet when the reaper comes at last

what is it that we’ll have to show

for all the trials that we faced?

Perhaps it’s time to reassess,

to take a stand for what is best.

Empty, full or in between

we each interpret what is seen…

we count our joys, however rare,

the happiness that we have gleaned.

We weigh the tears that we have shed,

each exhausted minute spent,

every drop that we have bled

each smile, each laugh, each wrinkle earned

each loss, each gain, each heart we’ve spurned

while trying to grasp with clarity

if we are where we’re meant to be.

© Ginny Brannan 2021