Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Monday, April 29, 2024

An Elegy for Lost Values

 










I reserve a certain sadness for what I leave behind

I've always had a hard time letting go...

an albatross around my neck, a rope that chafes and binds

secret and clandestine,  all things are intertwined.

I'm searching for a bright light, an incandescent glow

with self-effacing honesty expressing what I know...

yet cold and Machiavellian, the soothsayer some seek

his doctrine antithetical to everyone's beliefs.

Often viewed mercurial, his moods change like the wind;

no altruistic tendencies,  no kindness to rescind.

I mourn the ruination of all who’ve lost their soul;

then buttoning my cardigan, I brace against the cold.

 

© Ginny Brannan 2024


NaPoWriMo Day 29 Prompt: To use one of the following words in a poem:clandestine, Machiavellian, incandescent, altruism, self effacing, albatross, antithetical, mercurial, elegy, cardigan I chose some form of all of them 

TY to TS for challenging our vocabularies with her brilliant use of words.

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

The Connection

 










We look for the pretext, the hidden connection

a word to encourage, a sign someone cares–

it’s not in their words that we garner the meaning

but inside the knowledge that someone is there.

Caught up in this void is the echo of voices,

the faces once clear disappear from display;

we hide them away in a cache deep inside us

not willing to share lest we give them away.

The winter months beg to be given our secrets

but who’s really listening to what we might say?

In the silence and emptiness, in hollow of loneliness

lie the chapters of stories and things we’ve outgrown,

yet we cannot forget all the places we’ve come from
the communion of friendship, the people we’ve known.

We’re born to this world, become one among many—

  it seems when we leave, that we all go alone.

 

© Ginny Brannan 2024


Photo credit: C. Parant at Appetite for Photos. Used with expressed written permission.


"We come into the world alone, we leave the world alone." James Anthony Froude

Thursday, December 7, 2023

All the Paths We Do Not Choose













Happiness is not a given, it is a choice.

We all carry the weight of our years,

the ache of our losses and so many tears.

We can wallow there, condemning

others for our lot. Curse the ones who

got us here, the children who’ve forgotten us,

the bosses who have fired us, and all the

things we’re not.  We can flounder in oblivion

drink till we pass out; pop pills, shoot up

and waste away, really, who can blame us? 

Harder still to face the day when every day

it’s raining. When you take to heart what

others say and wish you could contain them.

I’ve always thought the best revenge is to 

live the life we’re meant to, for even at

our very worse, feeling empty, feeling cursed

when we think we won’t get through, 

we still can find potential.

Just reflect on where we’ve been and the fact 

that we’re still standing, despite

the threats to take us down 

and the demons we’re combating.

There is a strength inside of us, we 

only have to find it. But it’s up to us to come 

to terms, and put our past behind us.

 

One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

 

© Ginny Brannan 2023

 

 


Monday, November 13, 2023

Footnotes







It is a heavy tome I carry

filled with people I have known

in this space where they exist,

their stories bound into my own.

Perhaps that’s why in dreams I tarry

inside this place where we connect;

so many now no longer here 

are carried in this book I bear.

The days weigh heavy on these shoulders

I sometimes feel that I can’t breathe;

the years spin by as I grow older,

and life keeps sifting though this sieve.

What hands once held slips though these fingers

I reach for things I cannot grasp,

and so it is I‘ve come to know

that nothing ever stays or lasts.

There won't be any double-takes

the years we live can’t be reprised,

perhaps that’s why I’m drawn to linger 

in this space behind closed eyes.

When we’re gone, what will remain?

Where is it that our stories go?

Will we appear in someone’s dreams

...existing in the afterglow

   of this life we used to know

 

© Ginny Brannan 2023



Saturday, April 15, 2023

At What Price?

 


Can you feel the thunder

as it echoes through the valley?

Did you see the sky flash

from the latest storm?

Can you sense the danger

sneaking up beside you?

Just another shooter 

bent on doing harm.

 

Did you feel the shudder

from the latest volley?

Did you hear the screams,

see how the children ran?

Did the guards rush on in,

did they dare to face the bullets,

to stand between the unarmed

and the angry gunman?

 

Once more we hear the thunder

as it echoes through the valley

we watch another shooter

cut short a dozen lives–

See how the owners lobby

for their right to carry...

How many of our children

will have to pay the price?

 

© Ginny Brannan 2023

Sunday, May 30, 2021

Survivor's Guilt

 













Is it the giving of a life?

Or the one that’s left behind

picking up the pieces

of a torn and shattered soul?

Is it the one who gave their all,

or the ones who still remain

carrying their loved one

in a heart upon a chain?

The star that burned so bright

becomes elusive in the distance,

the song of the survivors

bittersweet in it’s refrain…

We cannot change reality

as past slips into memory

tucked away in box and frame.

How does one respond?

We only know they’re gone.

 

© Ginny Brannan 2021

Sunday, May 2, 2021

No Good Answers

 

















You ask me “How are you doing?”

How am I supposed to answer?

What do you expect me to say?

My standard is “Better this week than last.”

At least I didn’t cry my way home from work 

each day, or fall apart at the end of the week.

I sigh a lot these days…

The sunshine and spring blooms

are almost too much to bear.

I am no stranger to hardship,

but this? It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

You tell me ”It’ll get better with time.”

Crawl inside my skin and convince me.

Carry the weight in your chest, the knot in your stomach

the catch in your throat,  the hole in your heart…

till then, don’t ask me how I am doing

    unless you’ve felt the same.


© GB 2021

Monday, April 26, 2021

Just Another Bleeding Heart
















I bear this weight, this ball and chain

impedes each step with unchecked pain.

The new day dawns yet clouds draw near

reminding me that you're not here.

 

I try to lift my thoughts, in vain

weighted down by ball and chain-

pretending that I’ll be okay

when my whole life's in disarray.

 

"One day at a time," I'm told,

and as another day unfolds

I try to break free from this chain

but sink where memories remain.

 

The wound’s still raw, it doesn’t heal.

I cannot think, I only feel.

my heart lies bleeding in the rain

my cross to bear, this ball and chain.


© Ginny Brannan 2021


Sunday, October 4, 2020

Requiem for an Apple Tree

 

The lawn is littered with inedible fruit

dropped from a tree too tired to bear.

Insects wreak havoc on worn, cankered bark

the wasps feed on discards, taking their share.

Once magnificent, she bore a full yield

bushels upon bushels, apportioned to all…

I still can recall the sweet smell of perfume–

of pastel pink blossoms, blooming in spring,

and the tiny wrens nesting in the house on her branches

with their resonant melody… how they did sing!

 

Next year we know she will have to come down

we will mourn the loss of this kindly old friend

who provided such succor for many a year

seems all living things truly come to an end.

 

© Ginny Brannan 2020


Image by author from 2014

 

Monday, April 8, 2019

Circlin' the Drain













We don’t know when we’ll pay our dues
but we all have to check out sometime.
Death is a fact of life,
and these eyes have seen too many
'facts' already for this lifetime.
At what point is enough enough?
How many more circles ‘round the sun are left?
I guess that’s between the good Lord and me,
or perhaps the devil on any given day.
I’m still here, and until I start ‘circling the drain’
I’m not plannin’ on goin’ anywhere too soon.
Hear that, ya vultures?

Hopin’ my next home likes ‘em sassy, ‘cuz I aint ‘bout to change now!

© Ginny Brannan 2019


Checked out the Day 8 Challenge for NaPoWriMo that suggested using a slang term as metaphor from one of several professions. I chose my “profession”  sort of loosely, (medical as I am support staff for skilled nursing) and the slang term “CTD”  “circling the drain”, a ‘metaphor’ for actively dying. It works.

Image: Pinta Dora

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Before the Fall...















I remember the warmth of an April morn…
the songbirds singing before the dawn,
the mourning dove with her call forlorn;
the gathering clouds before the storm.

I still feel the sway of a summer breeze…
the breath of God blowing through the trees;
the sound of His whisper inside the leaves
and come the evening, a cool reprieve.

Can still smell the scent of an autumn day
the dry fallen leaves turning to decay
with deep earthen smells of soil and clay
and nature’s full pallet on display.

Last to arrive came the ice and snow,
the garden, now frozen, down below
wood smoke arising from fire’s glow
the world spread before us in white tableau.

I still remember all of these things:
how far we’d come before the fall,
so little of that time remains…
 We never really had a plan.
Now dust storms howl over barren plains
while all things precious turn to rust—
so too, this world returns to dust…
 thus dies the golden age of man.


© Ginny Brannan 2019

Friday, June 8, 2018

The Dark Side












Can we judge the life of another
when we don’t know the demons within
the highs and lows and daily struggles
or a need for their darkness end?

To be surrounded, yet feel alone
when nothing is going as planned
when it’s so hard to voice the pain that you have
feeling useless and not worth a damn.

The temptress sings her siren song
awakens the demons within…
I’ve glimpsed into the dark abyss
while tiptoeing on the rim.

Today another left this world
the dark side made its claim
and all the folks he’s never met
are mentioning his name.

A sad and senseless tragedy
there’s no free pass with fame
so difficult to understand,
when no one thing’s to blame.

© Ginny Brannan 2018

When there are so many shades of black and gray
sometimes we can’t tell the clouds from the night.
And there are times when you know that people love you, 
but they just don’t seem to understand.
Sometime it’s only a word or a call;  a note,
a comment that makes all the difference.
“I 'd notice”was my lifeline—two little words,
a simple reminder when I needed it most
that someone was out there and listening to me.

I only danced with the darkness; for so many it is a daily struggle
bigger than anything that most of us will ever understand…
If you feel weighted down, that you are sinking
and have nowhere to turn, talk to someone
if you can’t talk to a friend call 1-800-273-8255.

Hoping that all who struggle with depression and their ‘dark side’ will find peace.

Monday, May 28, 2018

They all were "somebody's"












The lead ball ripped through wool and skin
and tore through femur like a rocket—
the man in blue dropped to the ground
his moaning blending with the sounds
of cannon fire, artillery,
of shouting coming through the trees.
His thoughts turned inward to his home
back to the girl he left behind
he wondered if she’d ever read
the letter folded in his pocket;
but in the end, he'd stood his ground
that no man should be shackle-bound.

The trench lay deep, the stench was rife
the smell was worse than rotting fish—
of death, decay and spoiled meat,
of wounded holding onto life.
The damp chill cut them to the bone
it seemed there was no end in sight
but for a moment, time stood still,
as song arose this Christmas morn.
Out on the field, the firing ceased
as both sides lay their weapons down,
they shared the images of home
with differences now set aside
inside this momentary peace.

Flying low and taking flak
the bomber flew a steady course
another mission lay ahead…
while Red Tails flew as his escort.
As Mustangs chased the Messerschmitts
the bombardier searched for his mark—
the target bridge lay in his sites
he opened bay, released the load
then turned the plane to take it home.
Few casualties were lost this run
their mission for the day complete
still many more would lie ahead,
till enemy would take defeat.

Deep in the jungle far from home
they hacked their way through undergrowth
so thick that they could barely see.
Their wet clothes clung to them like glue,
while searching for the enemy.
With every yard that these troops gained
another skirmish would ensue.
The bloodshed reigned on nightly news
while protestors took to the streets—
and politicians played their part
claiming that they could defeat
the enemy on their own turf.
How could they justify the cost
of all the sons that would be lost?

The arid lands were dry and hot
with rocky hills and desert plains
and far beyond, the mountain range.
Against a new insurgency
our soldiers sent to do their job
to keep this enemy at bay,
to find some kind of lasting peace.
Out on the road the humvee stops,
a man steps out to scan the land…
the sniper waits and takes the shot,
another soldier’s life is claimed.
Another wartime casualty
the flag draped coffin boards the plane,
returning home to family,
while duty-bound, his troops remain.

The never-ending battle roars
right side, wrong side, enemies…
yet all these folks were somebody’s
brother, sister, husband, friend.
As long as we remember them,
keep their memory, say their name
not just one day, but every day
if in our hearts they still remain,
their lives were never lost in vain.

© Ginny Brannan 2018

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Withdrawn












You were always here,
 like background noise...
a thread that ran through my life
almost as long as I have memory.
While some friends
 fall by the wayside
—you never fell.
I thought you’d stay forever.

I reach through the airwaves
to feel you, and all is silent
where you once stood.

I will miss your laughter
   most of all...


© Ginny Brannan 2018


Friday, April 6, 2018

But for the Grace...

I could share with you a story:
one of death and sadness,
of loss and hardship
but to what purpose, to what end?
Any person who has reached a certain age
has their own stories to tell.
We overcome adversity not by wallowing in  it
but by walking through it
They say: “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
I much prefer, simply
“With pain comes strength.”
The person you knew decades ago is not the person I am now.
I am molded by all who have touched my life;
those who have left, those who have stayed.
All that we experience becomes part of our story,
not only the hardships, but the kindnesses;
and in the end, we are all stories…
how we choose to write ours is up to us.


© Ginny Brannan 2018

Thursday, December 29, 2016

With Certain Inevitability


We know neither time nor place, only that it is inevitable…

… but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. 
                                                                                    — Ben Franklin

In “Tweets” and “Posts” the world responds
to Death’s uncertain rendezvous—
  just two of many that we knew…

As one day ebbs, another dawns
and real or feigned, we mourn each name—
   another faded star now gone.

“Celebrity” does not preclude…
    in ‘Tweets” and “Posts,” the world responds.

© Ginny Brannan 2016




















Actress Carrie Fisher 10/21/1956 — 12/27/2016
and her mom: Actress Debbie Reynolds 4/01/1932 — 12/28/1932
The 'Force' was strong between mother and child.