Saturday, October 26, 2013

When I Do You In...

When I Do You In …

When I do you in
… a single bullet will do it
I’ll use six pillows to silence it,
then get out my trusty “kit”
of bleach, and I’ll go to town
wiping everything down,
And no one will suspect me …
just hoping they don’t see
those dirty towels in the trash bin
                   …When I do you in

When I do you in
… a drop of poison should do it
something exotic from Singapore
in your drink when you walk through the door…
you’ll hardly notice the pain
as you start to convulse when it hits your brain
And no one will suspect me …
just best not test that Long Island Iced Tea
to learn that it wasn’t Gin
                  … When I do you in

When I do you in
… a knock on the head might do it
I’ll just explain how you tripped and fell,
slipped on that rug when you answered the bell
then quickly hide the trip wire away,
while carefully keeping the cops at bay
and no one will suspect me …
how could it possibly be?
And that hidden wire sooo thin
                  …When I do you in

When I do you in
…a car accident would do it
a cut in the brake line and you will swerve
around that long and winding curve…
over the edge you’ll go;
How could  I possibly know?
They surely won’t suspect me
Unless they just happen to see
my mischievous little grin…
                  ... When I do you in!

Copyright © Ginny Brannan May 2010


Images and artwork by one of my favorite illustrators and authors, Edward Gorey. He wrote many children's books, and many "alphabet" books including the Ghashlycrumb Tinies. In his later years he lived here in Massachusetts in Yarmouth Port on the Cape. He is probably best known for the opening credits on PBS Mystery. Learn more here.

Sharing this at dVerse Poets Poetics: The Lighter side of Ghouls & Goblins. After all, what's a little blood-letting among friends?!!! Bwahahahaha!! (Insert best evil laughter here!)


  1. oh my have all the angles figured out on this to do us in...and get away....smiles...haha...this was fun...i think the grin is giving you away....smiles

  2. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! This is totally rockin Ginny. I LOVE IT. Perfect - dark, funny and well I can see me saying it - when I do you in...muwahahahaha

  3. Love this, especially the poison one. Morbidly great.

  4. I see a bit of the rondeau in this?? It's inspired...great fun!

    1. Any resemblance to any true format is purely coincidental. This is actually one of my very first pieces when I was new and clueless as to formats and meter. Written just for the sheer fun of the subject matter (which my husband is convinced is about him, since I mention Long Island where he's from! BTW: In case you're wondering, he is still "with" us!

  5. Sure is morbid and creepy. Ways of doing someone in can be a little tricky. Here it seems all to have been worked out! Nicely Ginny!


  6. An instant favourite. Loved this - the structure, the rhymes, the imagery, everything.

  7. haha...your grin surely betrays you... and the most well woven plan can have some blind spots that give you away as take..

  8. When I DO you in
    It'll BE forEVerrrrr

  9. Well written, Ginny! I love the rhythm of the poem and the illustrations are really well chosen. I'd never heard of Edward Gorey before (awesome name, btw) and will be sure to check out more of his work.

  10. I'm not getting on your wrong side, if I can help it! Although I had a chat with a fellow writer last weekend and we did agree that the dark thoughts and ideas we have are better expressed in writing, rather than in more... physical ways! Eeep! Great poem - loved it! (Artwork is excellent too!)>

  11. Oh ... this is marvelous. The refrain and the planning... and the hesitation.. A piece of art truly.

  12. Zeroing in on the perfect crime! This was a lot of fun, Ginny, and I've always admired the Gorey intros on PBS. But the murderers always get caught on those shows, so be careful...nice work.

  13. Sounds like now you have a choice to make when you do him in. Ha. Enjoyed reading this. Quite disturbing.

  14. "doing someone in" has never had such a romantic quality to it before! Very clever.

  15. haha the cops will never catch you here at your zoo. Just don't do me in, 9 lives so you may not win

  16. Fun/horrors! Just like the alphabet book of your fave artist! The tone works to keep this on a level of fantasy--for me. But what if? oooo!

  17. This is just what the Doc ordered for me-a wonderful whodunit;-)!Loved every bit of this-superb creativity !

  18. I find it fascinating this is an early poem of yours and even though you knew little to nothing for forms and structure - it still has your trademark of rhyme and rhythm - just a little looser. I find it so very charming!


Thank you for reading my poetry and sharing your thoughts.