Thursday, July 19, 2012

In Tandem

We share an easy affinity,
a kindred familiarity,
a certain kind of intimacy…
a deep alliance streaming over time.

Within this reciprocity
we’ve portaged chasms carefully;
avoiding riffles skillfully--
our focus staid upon horizon line.

But in those times I've run aground
you've saved me from going down;
reached out, wouldn't let me drown--
a steadfast anchor in life's angry sea.

We slip the current past the shadows,
prudently elude the narrows,
mindful of the rocky shallows--
two tandem souls in perfect harmony.

© Ginny Brannan July 2012











Sharing at d'Verse Poet's Pub Open Link Night #57

10 comments:

  1. Now this is serious poetry. Definitely love the end-rhyme pattern for the stanzas. Shows you know somthing about the mechanics of good poetry with your end-rhyme scheme. I'm your fan. (I bow).

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  2. when faced with those rapids and rough spots it is def helpful when you are in tandem and can help each other out...really like your description of it in the first stanza....

    yeah when i was on vacation i got word my company was closing so for the last couple weeks i have been job hunting...but took a job today in the school...and will even be running their poetry club...woot...smiles

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    1. That's great news--you will be perfect for the poetry club!!

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  3. A lyrical description of a beautiful relationship

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  4. I so enjoy you're work, Ginny, and appreciate how hard it is to make a formal approach seen natural. But you've succeeded here, as usual. Excellent work!

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  5. Like your other commentators, I do like the natural rhyme scheme at the end - it looks deceptively simple, but I know how fiendishly tricky it can be to make it work! - and that you make the rhythm flow with the ease of that river and that relationship.

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  6. the rhymes flow so easily here and i also like the message you convey...good to have someone that you can team up with to navigate the depths and heights of life..

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  7. yep, structure is good, theme is good...not much better than when you have that 'tandem'

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  8. I appreciate all of the positive comments. It said what I wanted to say, and I liked how it sounded aloud, but hesitated to share, as I see the meter as "off" --9, 8, and 7 syllables per line in each subsequent stanza, the last mixed. The only constant is the 10 syllables in the final line of each stanza. So what does that say for meter? For format?? Glad all of you, whose writing I respect and admire, took time to comment and saw it as being "good."

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Thank you for reading my poetry and sharing your thoughts.