The Grief of Just Existing

 

I focus on the day ahead

as if it had a purpose

perhaps I should just stay in bed

With trepidation and with dread

I choose to face the ‘circus’

and focus on the day ahead

But still, the voices in my head

keep telling me I’m worthless–

perhaps I ought to stay in bed

We don't exist without regrets

and shouldn’t lose our focus:

I focus on the day ahead

With some ambivalence I tread;

the heaviness, enormous…

– perhaps I should just stay in bed.

And still, despite the tears I’ve shed,

I am fucking dauntless—

I focus on the day ahead,

dismiss the thought to stay in bed.

© Ginny Brannan 2025

*Use of profanity in poetry for emphasis

*Villanelles: use of variations on Refrains.