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| Image: Ivan Aivazovsky Wiki-images |
Sharing at d'Verse Poetics: An Evening of Short Verse.
Wrote this earlier this week, but it seems to fit in well with the Short Verse theme. Can't really be called a Cinquain or Quintain as the rhyme scheme (a,a,a,b,b) doesn't really follow, although with minimal change to line 2 maybe could've been an English Quintain. No format in mind when written, was really just trying to sketch a picture with my words.
what a harrowing sight that would be...seeing your ship go down and realizing if help did not arrive soon enough you would be as well....
ReplyDeleteYou do a good job here, capturing the chaos and panic of being on a burning, sinking ship. How horrifying! I liked the quick succession of verbs in the initial lines. You pack a lot of action into this terse piece. The rhythm is strong and quick, like the beating of drums, building anticipation and dread.
ReplyDelete...oh, panic ensues... and reading each lines build an increasing tension that fit so well with your chosen subject... diverting & affecting read from you... smiles...
ReplyDeletelove the action in here, strong write and very effective, visually and then you have there's no resisting…while you plunder, fitting into the action oriented word base, yet, in these two phrases, a new element opens up for the reader. Strong piece. Thanks for sharing tonight.
ReplyDeleteThank you for noticing the "other element" behind this. A poet friend of mine once said that he never posts pictures with his writing, as people see the image and then that is all the poem is about. I think I may have to start following his footsteps. The words came before the image, and this was purposely written with some ambiguity, as it is not really about a ship at all. Seems you caught that, glad someone did.
Deleteoh heck...not fun to be on a burning ship and just water around...you pack lots of intensity into this short verse..like a short clip from an adventure movie
ReplyDeleteOuch, what a horrible fate you have captured.
ReplyDeleteInferno flares and slowly seething --a terrible experience ~
ReplyDeleteGood one Ginny ~
Wonderful vivid sound here, Ginny. The rhyme works super well. k
ReplyDeleteThere's so much more to this narrative than the elements you have explicitly revealed - and that is one of the potential benefits of short forms. Your poem keeps the action going from start to close.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is a quintain as it has five lines - just not one of the formally recognised (yet) forms :-)
Excellent descriptive piece - I can sense the terror.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]