Thursday, April 29, 2021

No Rest for the Weary


It was a temporary patch for a permanent problem

a feel good stopgap to get you through the night;

a chance to erase the chaotic thoughts that chase,

a moment of relief from the pain of life.

 

It was a temporary fix for a permanent problem

an illusion of calm to make the hurt go away­

how quick adapts the brain that wants to shed the pain,

but faster yet the panic on instant “replay.”

 

It was a temporary patch for a permanent problem

but there are no easy fixes to get you through the day;

there is no remand, no short path to understanding

and nothing can amend what you try to belay

 

It was a temporary fix for a permanent problem

why offer it at all when it can’t really expel?

No ready relief for the heart that grieves,

no rest for the weary as they face their hell.

 

There’s no temporary fix for this permanent problem

suck it up and steel yourself, you’re in it for the haul

there are no magic pills to help you with your ills

as you muddle through the madness, and another night falls.

 

© Ginny Brannan 2021

Monday, April 26, 2021

Just Another Bleeding Heart
















I bear this weight, this ball and chain

impedes each step with unchecked pain.

The new day dawns yet clouds draw near

reminding me that you're not here.

 

I try to lift my thoughts, in vain

weighted down by ball and chain-

pretending that I’ll be okay

when my whole life's in disarray.

 

"One day at a time," I'm told,

and as another day unfolds

I try to break free from this chain

but sink where memories remain.

 

The wound’s still raw, it doesn’t heal.

I cannot think, I only feel.

my heart lies bleeding in the rain

my cross to bear, this ball and chain.


© Ginny Brannan 2021


Thursday, April 22, 2021

Channeling Scarlett

 













Faith is believing in something that we cannot see.

We turn to God in our darkest hours–

to what end?

We ask for healing,

when healing doesn’t come,

we ask for strength. 

I listen for an answer I cannot hear

knowing that ‘No’ is an answer, too.

One foot in front of the other, my friend,

God helps those who help themselves.

The sun will come out tomorrow

after all “Tomorrow is another day.”

Ah, Scarlett, you always landed on your feet.

  Maybe I will, too.


© Ginny Brannan 2021

 

Monday, April 12, 2021

Riding the Waves








Now I know now why you did what you did­–

drowning your sorrow one shot at a time,

escaping what your heart couldn’t bear;

masking the truth for just a while longer,

– another drink for the pain and the loss

because anything is better than feeling.

Oh, that it would make a difference…

But I am not you;

we can’t hide from the hand that we’re dealt.

I believe the only way past something

is to go through it.

Riding the waves

But I finally understand why

 you did what you did

—because anything is better than feeling


© Ginny Brannan 2021


This refers back to the memories of my dad. Back in the day of my parents, the loss of someone dear was to be surrounded by well-meaning family and friends and a round (or two or three) of drinks to drown one's sorrow. This was brought to mind, because even though I was oh, so young,  I remember watching my dad going through the loss of my mom. I understand the "why" now, but also know there is no escape, only postponement. Doing my best to deal here, to heal here.

Bearing Witness...











Even as you walked your path, 

between this world and the next

you still thought of others.

You gave us an incredible gift, 

bearing the choice 

so we wouldn’t have to.

You, you were always our gift…

and so we send you home to wait for us

and carry you now and always in our hearts.


© Ginny Brannan 2021

Saturday, April 10, 2021

Remembering Ray


Ray William Brannan 
March 5, 1956— April 7, 2021


Ray was born in Freeport Long Island to Edward and Elizabeth Brannan, the 3rd of 4 sons. He grew up in Merrick, NY and attended schools there, graduating from Calhoun High School in 1974. He went on to college, earning his Bachelor of Science degree from New York Institute of Technology in 1980.


Ray met his wife Ginny, a Vermonter, in November of 1979. He always joked about it being his “first and LAST blind date! They were married on October 3rd, 1981. They resided on Long Island for just over 5 years, moving north and making their home in Ludlow, MA in 1987. Together they have one son, Patrick, born in 1985. Ray was a loving father and enjoyed spending time with his son, whether camping with the scouts, vacationing at The Cape, or watching their favorite comedies together. Laughter was always present in their home!


Ray was employed by Big Y Foods in Springfield MA from 1987 until his retirement in late 2016, working in Grocery and transitioning to Security Receiver. He liked his work, and enjoyed much camaraderie and laughter with his co-workers.


From 1991 to 1993, Ray volunteered on the Ludlow Conservation Commission, putting his

Science Degree into service for his town.


Ray loved history and was a Civil War buff, especially enjoying his trips into Gettysburg when visiting family in PA. He also loved to travel, and felt blessed to have visited the shores of Ireland and Wales. And although a New Yorker, he adapted well to his New England home, embracing all of the local teams, especially his New England Patriots!


He leaves behind his wife Virginia ‘Ginny’ and son Patrick of Ludlow MA

His brother Edward Brannan and Edward’s wife Pat of Carlisle PA

His brother Thomas Brannan of Glenville, PA
His sister-in-law Kathy Brannan of Bessemer City, NC

His niece Tammy Dawn McCarthy and her husband Leonard of Eureka, CA

His nephew Jason Brannan and his wife Natalie of Crouse, NC

His nephew and godson Michael Brannan and his wife Ashley of Carlisle PA

His godson Mathew Parant ,and Mat’s wife Jane of VT and FL

and several great nieces and nephews, cousins, his extended family in VT, and many very close and cherished friends.

He was pre-deceased by his parents Edward and Elizabeth, his older brother John, and beloved sister-in-law Susan, each lovingly remembered and missed.


Ray was a spiritual man who had faith in God and what was to come. May God welcome him

home with open arms.


**Note: Due to the pandemic protocols, and the fact that our dear families and friends are spread across the country from northern VT to PA to NC to FL, and west to CA, we opted in lieu of a traditional memorial and burdening family and friends with the decision to travel across the country, to ask each of you instead, our beloved friends and family, to celebrate Ray in your own way. Raise a glass to him when you gather, remember him with fondness and joy, and hopefully much laughter as you share your stories!    

As long as we speak their name and remember, then they are never truly gone.



Monday, April 5, 2021

One Day at a Time...



















I sit in a vacuum unable to breathe

unable to hold you, to be at your side

not even a glimmer of what lies ahead

I cannot find solace, I can’t find reprieve

while waiting to see just what fate will decide.

 

I can’t seem to get all these thoughts to subside—

you’re not here to hold me, to say “It’s okay.”

They race like a freight train to some unknown stop;

I’ve chosen these strangers with which to confide,

as I struggle to keep all the demons at bay.

 

The world’s upside down, in complete disarray

holding tight to each message, each small ray of hope

white-knuckled, not knowing what will come next.

There’s too many outside forces at play,

I’m treading water,  yet barely afloat.

 

Where will we land? No one can say…

just trying to hold onto one. more. day.



Image by Charlie Parant at Appetite For Photos. Used only with express written permission.