Now I know now why you did what you did–
drowning your sorrow one shot at a time,
escaping what your heart couldn’t bear;
masking the truth for just a while longer,
– another drink for the pain and the loss
because anything is better than feeling.
Oh, that it would make a difference…
But I am not you;
we can’t hide from the hand that we’re dealt.
I believe the only way past something
is to go through it.
Riding the waves
But I finally understand why
you did what you did
—because anything is better than feeling
© Ginny Brannan 2021
This refers back to the memories of my dad. Back in the day of my parents, the loss of someone dear was to be surrounded by well-meaning family and friends and a round (or two or three) of drinks to drown one's sorrow. This was brought to mind, because even though I was oh, so young, I remember watching my dad going through the loss of my mom. I understand the "why" now, but also know there is no escape, only postponement. Doing my best to deal here, to heal here.