The old man begs beside the road…
Once noble warrior, deep inside
his head still hears the bombs explode.
The old man begs beside the road.
Alone, he bears his heavy load.
Hears voices screaming as they died.
The old man begs beside the road;
once noble warrior, deep inside.
©Copyright G.Brannan November 2010
©Copyright G.Brannan November 2010
*A triolet is a poetic form consisting of only 8 lines. Within a Triolet, the 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, and the 2nd and 8th lines do as well. The rhyme scheme is simple: ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines.
Ah! I simply LOVE structured forms like these! You do the Triolet great justice with this piece. Man, I can just see it. This poem does everything a good poem should. The first line takes on new meaning and significance with each repetition. My favorite lines are definitely lines 3 and 6, they are so evocative. So potent. Your word choice is simple in this, but that's alright, I think it adds something to the very image you are presenting than if you said "In conflagration's vapid lies" or some such. Simple language is like water colors, (or crayons, depending on the theme of the poem) and this is a good watercolor.
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